Alo and De Disgrace #33
(PD) Alo and De Lake on Land.
Copyright ©2018 October 09, 2018
Yan: I apologize for my feeling, unsure of myself. I smile, but it seems to me to be... strange, somewhat unrealistic for me to be sitting here... two couples, two girls that look the same... ha!... it is very nice, but definitely not normal.
Alo: My smile... yes, it does require time, to grow accustomed to the uncommon similarities between De and Jun... but in time, it begins to be sensed as normal... at least, for us. I now, would find it to be not normal, if there were a girl here who looked different.
Yan: If there were eight couples, eight girls that looked the same... ha!... oh, but that would be as an entirely different species!
Alo: Ha! Yes, but I am glad that there are only two who look similar... more than two, it would be stressful... stressful in my own constant questioning of who is who.
Jun: Ha! Barely saved yourself with the explanation!
Alo: Ha! Yes, I felt the urgency quickly rising before I finished my words... I added the explanation so as to help prevent further stress!
Jun: Men!
De: Yes...
Yan: I am still a little slow... I am not yet quick enough to explain sometimes... yes, stress... but, it is not much stress... I enjoy Jun being playfully feisty.
Alo: Jun has many good qualities... she is very good at many things...
Jun: Ha! A compliment that is frosting to cover a bread that is baked with a tease...
Yan: There... my heart warms when hearing Jun speak parables and metaphors... to me, there is so much more meaning in parables... to me, Jun's heart is expressed within her parables... a far greater beauty than mere words spoken grammatically correct.
Alo: Oh... the girls' bashful smiles... and look... Jun's face is red... that is a good sign... she is expressing modesty and happiness, with appreciation and gladness for love... oh, but a person cannot express those emotions, without the person feeling the emotions for another person... also a good sign... your marriage, is good.
Yan: In my life, I did not have many opportunities to see expressions of good emotions, and much less opportunity to see so many different good emotions expressed simultaneously... I had traveled half way around the world looking for good people... I did not know, that the best people, were already here.
Alo: Poor Jun... her face... more red now... but that is good... it proves her heart.
Yan: This, thing, here... so many different emotions, expressed simultaneously, and in such an array of different strengths... is this a portion of what Jun has told me about centeredness? A being centered of self, able to express all feelings at the same time? Full control over one's emotions?
Alo: Yes, a portion of how centeredness can be outwardly expressed... if chosen.
Yan: What about the other emotions, the bad ones? I have not had enough experience to have witnessed it myself, so I do not know.
Alo: I have never heard of a centeredness existing, that was not created upon harmonious ingredients... bad emotions, are not harmonious, and, so, I would assume that a centeredness cannot occur if one's emotions are negative. It seems plausible that some people might be so fixated on one specific bad emotion, that it then influences all other emotions to be negative... but I also do not know. Nevertheless, to me, if a person does not outwardly express their heart within a good way, then the person cannot possess good inner qualities.
Yan: Jun and I chat a lot... we discuss things like emotions... it is easy to discuss love and loneliness, but some emotions are hard, maybe because we ourselves have not felt the emotions to know how they are formed. Disgrace is one that we have speculated on, but guesses remain guesses, and we have been curious of what it might feel like.
Alo: I am unsure also... but, from what I have been able to discern, it appears that the word 'disgrace' has both an inner self-conviction, as well as an outer conviction by other people. Other people might say that someone's behavior is disgraceful... the judging is the observers' own opinions... but now, an inner conviction, I am speculating that it implies that a person has self-reflected, discovered his own mistake, and is greatly embarrassed... but, disgrace goes further... within my interpretation, an inner self-conviction recognizes the mistake, and then the mistake is self-judged relative to social approval... inner 'disgrace', therefore, might be something like feeling embarrassed for a mistake, as well as feeling lowered of social ranking, of like being dumber than other people.
Yan: Yes, I think that is close... a person who does not self-reflect, they will not feel disgraced because of a mistake... it would be society saying that the mistake is disgraceful. Then, for a man to feel disgrace himself, then, he would have to self-reflect while also accepting society's system of values... which seems to be saying that the word 'disgrace' must likely always be judged relative to one's culture's system of values. This is so very interesting to me... I never got to discuss things like this before I met Jun.
Alo: I agree with your ideas of 'disgrace'... surely it is almost always a judgement of one's self relative to social standards... which, obviously, means that the person follows whatsoever society wants... the man cannot be centered, nor can the man have reign over his own mind and heart. I suspect that there might be a similar feeling of disgrace for some people who hold themselves liable for their own personal standards... disgraceful to one's self, irrespective of social standards... to me, that might not be such a bad thing sometimes, if, the man learns from the mistake, but... still, I imagine that the emotion would be harmful, and not good for one's health and chidao.
Yan: I have heard many people speak of things like disgrace, but never before have I heard words like yours, that speak from an angle of experience with how emotions arise... pondering ideas, are much more useful when we have a basis to form plausible conclusions.
Alo: It is easy, not difficult, to observe one's self... centeredness, the "I" observes the mind and body forming each ingredient... it is not hard, but, of course, centeredness... it does require time to form, and is not always easy. It is also easy to see if other people self-observe... 'Ancient person-ist ideas him not put-forth disgrace oneself him not reach also'... 'Ancients' ideas, ancients not outwardly express, disgrace one's self, ancients not grasp also'. The interpretation also could be as 'Ancient's ideas, him not outwardly express, disgrace himself, him not grasp also'... the sentence itself was taken out of context, so we cannot now know for certain if the sentence had been referring to the ancients, or referring to another individual. Nevertheless, in general, the concept is that the ancients taught a lot of words, but the ancients, or an individual, themselves did not live the words by outwardly expressing what the words were claimed to be... the ancients, or the individual, disgraced themselves, and, the ancients, or the individual, did not grasp their words, nor their actions also. A modern translation interpreted the words to say 'The reason why the ancients did not readily give utterance to their words, was that they feared lest their actions should not come up to them', which makes no sense, not even in today's language. Nevertheless, by how an individual chooses his words, it can be seen how well he has understood the words, as well as how well he holds the words in his heart.
Yan: The girls are smiling again... Jun has told me that you enjoy analyzing ancient texts... you and De are so quiet, always, but not here... I appreciate hearing the words spoken. Then, self-disgrace, might have as a near opposite, self-honor?
Alo: Sounds close... although, of course, it depends on which emotions accompany honor. Is the honor judged by one's own standards, based upon Nature's way, or is the honor judged upon the standards of society's values, or is the honor based upon selfishness? The "I", the body, the self, and the soul are different things... some can be loved and honored by the other, some cannot. There are countless different flavors of honor also... as many different degrees as there are people on earth. One person might give heart-felt appreciation, love, and honor to one's own body for having been such an excellent vehicle of the soul's journey... but another person might think they are giving honor to the body because the person has become materially wealthy, and thus honored within a materialistic society... one person's manner of honor, is another person's manner of filth.
Yan: Yes... and the judging of which is the correct manner, is a judging that it based upon Nature's standard, is it not?
Alo: Yes.