Dialogues of Nodin and William

Virtuous Woman #18

(PD) James Tissot - L'annonciation (portion - or - 'Virtuous Woman')

Larry Neal Gowdy

Though a man may walk alone,

and achieve his loftiest goal,

never will he be his own master,

until a virtuous woman opens his soul.

William: ...and my heart, my very soul, to the very depths of my being, I am uprooted, shaken, and I have no foundation to hold.

Nodin: And what did you expect?

William: I expected a woman like any other, like all others of my village, of perhaps a gentleness, yes, but still a woman.

Nodin: Is Meda not also a woman?

William: No, no, not a woman, no, I hesitate to even deem her human, I would not dishonor her so; she is not a being of flesh, but of spirit; Meda is spirit; that is, she is she, and she is unlike anything that I could have imagined.

Nodin: We stood a full one-hundred strides from Alo's dwelling, as Meda sat upon the entrance porch; and what do you believe?

William: My vocal cry of anguish, it describes my heart, of a heart that is shattered with awe and sudden loneliness, of a mind that is joyful of perceiving that which is perceived of the soul, and of a body that has chosen purity while in the presence of Meda. This, is surely, this soul of Meda, is she not as if heaven itself incarnated?

Nodin: If you, a man who is as a child to the experience of awareness, if you perceived a soul from a distance, what then might you estimate the experience would be, to sit near a woman like Meda, to be in her presence?

William: I would become, pure, of heart and mind, and body, rapturous, of a respect to cause no harm, to not disturb so much as a thought within Meda's soul.

Nodin: That which we value most within ourselves, so do we judge as beauty within another.

William: Yes, and though I did not see Meda's face, nor hear her voice, to me she is beautiful, beyond beauty; she is beauty itself. This is right... this is beauty... this is a true experience; this is, a portion of what you had been pointing to all along.

Nodin: Yes. There are no words to describe; it must be firsthand.

William: It felt to me as if a wisp of air, a gentle movement, flowing so softly and yet so full, the feeling of an inaudible sound, permeating and flowing so delicately, it touched my very soul, and most remarkable to me is that I understood! I grasped what was within the wisp, it was, like a knowing, embodied within a breath of air, my body feeling while the mind recognized what the body sensed, and as I divided and weighed the feeling, I was aware of what I felt! Oh! And! Oh Nodin! Nodin Nodin, I, I recognized her as a her! I literally distinguished her radiance as that of female, the quantity of information within the flowing love and beauty, it was there, everything, as if her inner being was opened and poured out!

Nodin: Then now you have an idea, of what Alo and I feel, of all souls, although, few minds are beautiful; not like Meda.

William: I so dearly wish that I could sit in the presence of Meda, to bask in her virtue, to be near that which is the beauty of beauties, but, at the same time, my heart cries no, that I am unworthy, dirty, not suitable; her soul is so precious, so very, very precious, and, I would surely die of agonizing remorse if I were to cause her a disconcerting thought.

Nodin: Good, then your seed has sprouted. Your heart was right to not sit at my table, and now, your heart has found a thing most worthy, and notice what effect that an honorable woman has upon an honorable man.

William: The temple, it then surely is heaven...

Nodin: Compared to your society; very much so.

William: But, Meda, she is here to take Alo back, is she not?

Nodin: Yes. Alo's wife waits; Meda will accompany Alo.

William: I had on occasion perceived Alo's radiance grow strong during his times of inner thoughts, and though I marveled at Alo's soul, and still do, it seems to be within me that a moment in Meda's presence is worth a lifetime of all things else.

Nodin: In your culture, there is no beauty of bond, as that of Alo and his wife, or of the friendship, as with Meda.

William: No, and now I too clearly recognize what you had pointed to. In my world the woman is held with disrespect, subjugated, treated as cattle, held as inferior to the male, treated as a thing to be used and thrown away. Traditions cover the woman's face, and it is not the woman's modesty that chooses modesty. Meda, she is superior, she is not an equal; she is superior. I am confident, that no man is of a value, as that of compared to a virtuous woman.

Nodin: And creativity?

William: My mind has already raced with the thoughts, that the harmony of man and wife, scented with an intense love, a love that values the other over one's self, it is reciprocal, it is transductive, it is exponential, it is the flower of quality, and as the man is bettered, so is the woman, and further is bettered the man and woman. And this, that you permitted me to see with my own eyes, or rather, to feel with my own heart, this is the way, of the temple, of those within the temple, is it not?

Nodin: Yes. There are many within the temple, who are as Meda; and Alo's wife, hers is a soul more radiant than Meda's.

William: I feel glory for the children who are conceived and born within such a beauty, that for me, has broken my heart with the knowledge of a beauty that, is not, cannot, be mine.

Nodin: Sometimes, our greatest moments, are the moments themselves, the fleeting experience, that can only occur once in a life, and yet holds the strongest memory of a beauty that is eternal.

William: My bond, my wife, the bond is pale, there is no reciprocation of my love, and it has become as a drain upon my soul, but I gave my word in marriage, and I will honor that word.

Nodin: Then observe, that which has proven itself true. That which endures, though there is no necessity of the thing, if the thing holds steadfast through trials, so then is it true, yours; it is you.

William: I would trade my life, if I were to have a wife of honor, and virtue.

Nodin: Your world will not permit it to be so?

William: I do not believe so, for if I had not before met a woman as beautiful of soul as Meda, then I have no evidence that others may exist.

Nodin: You are mistaken. You have walked past many good souls, and you did not notice.

William: Surely I would have recognized the souls, as I recognized Meda's.

Nodin: Why? If you are now with the perception, were you always?

William: No, and perhaps it is true, that in my own numbness of heart and soul I did not perceive what might have, might should have been obvious.

Nodin: The imperfect man, who yearns for quality, of his own soul, might there not be a woman, of similar heart, who shares a similar yearning?

William: Perhaps, and perhaps if they were to share love, and affection, perhaps surely their bond would also be creative.

Nodin: And what is it that your bride is yearning?

William: She will not say, and I do not pry. I offer her my love, but she exhibits no interest, and I am uncertain why.

Nodin: Think on this: Alo is an honorable man, as is his wife of such quality that I will not speak her name for fear of harming her essence, but within their lives, there will never be a trial to prove who they are. Never will they experience doubt, or temptation, nor will their standards be tried with the fire of having to decide right choices. Understand this, that to feel compassion, we must first experience that which we feel compassion for, and a man who has not suffered, his compassion cannot be full.

William: Yes, I have become aware that the more that I hunger for a good thing, the sweeter is the taste when I do find the thing.

Nodin: The love of Alo, and Meda, as well as Alo's wife, theirs is magnificent, as is their righteousness, but, they will never experience the awe and beauty as what you experienced tonight when you perceived Meda.

William: That is a difficult thing to recognize, that a man like me, oh, but, then that means...

Nodin: Yes, in some ways, the man without perfect qualities, can become the man who possesses the greater love, and compassion, because he already knows the pain of error.

William: Though it is sensed as myself being selfish, that of judging an attribute of mine as greater than Alo's, still, I must admit, what you speak is surely true.

Nodin: Within a fullness, when the seed has flowered, and produces its own seed, it will be then that you will be able to stand in Meda's presence, and your heart will not fear imperfection, and though your soul will flow as hers, yours will carry the song of a hardship that was endured and overcome, and at that time, you will have become a man that Meda wishes her own presence to be near. The glory of Creation, is its creativity, and it is the harmony of the woman that creates the man. This, William, this is the mastery of the self, when the man has tamed his mind, and the woman has birthed his heart.