Words of Wisdom From the Sage - Space Aliens, Evolution, and Appreciation
(CC0) The Sage - photo by Fabrizio Chiagano, minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
Space Aliens Are Not From Outer Space
Surrounding a Japanese hot spring, a crowd had gathered to hear words of wisdom from the world's leading monkey: Sage. From within the crowd was heard the music of "I Feel Love" by Venus Hum and Blue Man Group, being played on a liberated cell phone.
The Sage say: "According to popular belief, space aliens are an advanced species of great intelligence. The space aliens have tremendous technologies that far exceed all technologies on earth. Space aliens use their advanced space ships to travel the universe. The little green, gray, and blue space aliens visit other worlds where life exists. Space aliens traveled billions of miles to come to earth, and then spliced DNA to create us.
And then the space aliens crash on earth.
Huh? Huh? If space aliens are so freakin' intelligent, then how could they possibly crash their UFOs on earth? Don't the space aliens have self-driving UFOs? Aren't their UFOs equipped with geo-location, blue-tooth, microwave radars, CD player, and dash-mounted engine sensors?
We are supposed to believe that UFOs come to earth from other solar systems. We are supposed to believe that UFOs are driven by super-intelligent space aliens. We are supposed to believe that the super-intelligent space aliens are smart enough to build UFOs and fly around the galaxy at will. BUT, we are supposed to also believe that the super-intelligent space aliens are not smart enough to not crash on earth, AND the public buys it! Wow.
I will now enlighten you to the truth.
Several thousand years ago, there was a great battle on earth. The legend of the battle is spoken of within Mahabharata, of which speaks of nuclear weapons that caused 'an incandescent column of smoke and flame as bright as 10,000 suns... all foodstuffs were infected... to escape from this fire, the soldiers threw themselves into the river". All human survivors had fled to the deep seas to escape the nuclear weapons' radiation. Without the humans being present upon the surface of the earth, future monkeys saw the remainders of the cities that the humans had built, and the monkeys tried to copy what the humans had done: monkey see, monkey do.
Today, sometimes the humans leave their homes upon the ocean floors, and fly around in their round airplanes to sight-see, or to collect samples for the purpose of studying soils, insects, and animals. The humans are very much different than we monkeys; the humans are thinner, have larger heads, and are gray in color.
But sometimes human teenagers take the round family airplane out for a thrill-ride, and as teenagers are apt to do, they crash into the ground. We know that they are teenagers because they are much shorter than adult humans, and, because, they wear really weird clothing, or none at all.
Now, we monkeys have chased human aircraft in the skies, and each time the humans evaded us by flying into the oceans. Therefore the answer is obvious: there are no space aliens! The so-called space aliens are merely the surviving humans who now live in the oceans, okay?"
After enlightening the crowd, the Sage leisurely reclined back into the hot spring where he continued to pass his wisdom to the young academicians.
(CC0) The Sage - photo by Jonathan Forage, minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
Adults Say the Dumbest Things
A young academician asked: "My daddy was angry at me. He hollered that I don't appreciate anything. When I got a banana from the kitchen cabinet, he said that I don't appreciate how easy it is now to have food, that when he was young he had to climb a banana tree and pick a banana. He then yelled for a long time about having to cut firewood and dig trenches for gardens when he was a kid. How can I know what other people have done if I was not alive back then?"
The Sage say: "Adults are dumb. Might as well get used to it; adults are dumb. No one can appreciate anything unless the person first knows what the thing is that's to be appreciated. You cannot appreciate having indoor plumbing until after you have lived a long time without indoor plumbing. The same applies for everything else; the emotion of appreciation is created by life experiences, and if a monkey has not had the experience, then the monkey cannot form the emotion of appreciation."
The young academician asked: "Well that's obvious, but why do adults not know it?
The Sage say: "Because the adults were dumb when they were kids; lazy, always sitting around picking fleas from each other's hair, and then eating them. As kids, they exerted no effort to learn, nor to self-improve, and so now they are dumb because they purposefully chose to be dumb. What goes in, comes out. Being a dumb kid creates a dumb adult."
A different young academician asked: "What about the tall monkeys that wear clothes? Do they know what appreciation is?"
The Sage say: "Nope. The tall monkeys are no smarter than the short monkeys, they all think and behave similarly: none know what emotions are."
The different young academician laughed: "But they sure do believe that they're smart!
The Sage grinned: "Sure do, but if the tall monkeys didn't have stores to buy their food and clothing, all of them would return here and live like us; eating bananas and lazing in hot springs without clothes."
The different young academician opined: "Then we're already smarter than the tall humans because we never had to slave at a farm animal job."
The Sage chuckled: "Sure are!"
A third young academician asked: "But wait a minute. I've always had hot springs to soak in, and still I can appreciate having the hot spring instead of a cold water spring."
The Sage rose his face as he sternly gazed at the third young academician: "Hush! Hush! It's a secret that we are not permitted to speak of!"
The third young academician sternly replied back: "And why not? Aren't we here to learn stuff? You know, get smart? Why then can't we talk about everything?"
The Sage's eyes looked left and then right to ensure that there were no herd leaders nearby to hear what he was about to say, and then the Sage focused his eyes back on the young academician: "Emotions are a topic that we aren't permitted to speak about. It's, it's, it's a topic that separates we monkeys from the humans. You see, we have one word, 'appreciation', but it's used for numerous different emotions. When you say you have an appreciation for our hot spring, your appreciation was created by you imagining being in a cold spring. You see, your so-called 'appreciation' is simply a selfishly imagined preference for one thing instead of a different thing. But now if you had grown up soaking in a cold spring, but now you soaked in a hot spring, then your past firsthand experiences would illustrate why a hot spring is much more comfortable to soak in. And then there's the appreciation felt when someone does something nice for you, which is a fully different emotion that is based upon different pasts, different reasons, and different mental processes. Very, very few monkeys possess the different mental processes, and from I've heard, humans may not commonly possess the mental processes either. Don't you see? The emotion of 'appreciation' is fully different of causes, fully different of reasoning, and fully different of the inwardly felt tone."
The third young academician butted-in: "But wait! Wait! Then, what you're telling us is that there isn't just one emotion of 'appreciation'?
The Sage nodded: "That's right, there are zillions of different emotions, countless, infinite of variations, but, we monkeys lump zillions of different emotions into one and then call the lump a single name. Look at what the herd leaders have themselves written by their own paws: the herd leaders have written six emotions, sometimes upwards of ten emotions, and then that's it! That's all of the emotions that the herd leaders are able to mentally recognize!"
The third young academician was feeling extremely uncomfortable with his new knowledge: "But, but, but all monkeys say the same thing! That there are only a few different emotions! But that's stupid! That's, that's, that's freaking insane!
The Sage's face glowed with his wide smile: "Yep, can't get any dumber than that. But! If you say anything about it, then all other monkeys will go tri-polar on you; they will scream, frantically jump up and down in a rage, stomp their feet, and loudly scream 'HOW DARE YOU!'."
The third young academician chuckled: "And the tall monkeys who wear clothes, they don't know either, do they?"
The Sage grinned larger while shaking his head: "Nope, sure don't, and that's why we shouldn't ever let any of them hear about emotions, because, the mental inability to discern what an emotion is, proves that the tall monkeys are no smarter than we short monkeys, and boy wow-wow does that make the tall monkeys angry! You see, we could segregate mammals into three mental categories: let's say, dogs, monkeys, and humans. Each is only able to think as their own genre. Dogs think as dogs, monkeys think as monkeys, and humans think as humans. Now, dogs don't know nuthin' about emotions, we monkeys have words for a few emotions, while humans have a huge vocabulary for emotions that we monkeys cannot even begin to comprehend. Now, the tall monkeys who wear clothes, they're no different than us; just like us, they are mentally unable to think of what emotions are. And there you go."
(CC0) Laughing Monkey - photo by Dmitriy Zub, minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
The third young academician hopped out of the hot spring where he could jump up and down in laughter: "Oh but the tall monkeys just proved that they aren't any smarter than us! That's hilarious!
The Sage's face was still entertained: "Yep! And look at us; we don't hoard useless junk like what rats and the tall moneys do, nor do we pollute the planet like what the tall monkeys have done. Aside from a few of the tall monkey ladies having really nice dresses, the tall monkeys are merely ugly monkeys in sloppy Goodwill clothing. Heck, even their smartest herd leader wasn't able to comb his own hair! Hahaha!"
(CC0) Monkey Reflection - photo by Andre Mouton, minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
A fourth young academician was gazing into a liberated automobile rear-view mirror: "Then, that also means that the tall clothed monkeys don't even know what beauty is."
The Sage became solemn as he replied: "Correct. They actually don't know squat. They don't know what emotions are, nor what sensory perceptions, thoughts, dreams, and consciousness are. Actually, they don't even know what time is; seriously! But no less ridiculous is that most all tall monkeys believe in what they name to be Darwinism, that of evolution, of the tall monkeys having evolved from short monkeys, and, of course, the tall monkeys conveniently forget that they themselves were only about four-and-a-half feet tall just a few hundred years ago... dumb monkeys! But! Here's the thing; if we're all supposed to have evolved from more primitive animals, then why don't we monkeys look like elephants? Or horses? Or centipedes? Why not? Well of course it's obvious! All of us, from short ones to tall ones, we have yellow monkeys, white monkeys, black monkeys, brown monkeys, and red monkeys, along with a wide variety of hair colors, but, the general trend continues: two legs, two arms, two hands, two feet, two eyes, two ears, and a head on top. NOW! Look at the humans who live in the oceans. Aren't they similar to us? They have the same bone structure as we do! It's screamingly insane for the tall monkeys to claim to believe in evolution while the same tall monkeys also claim that space aliens did not evolve from us monkeys! And that, is the lesson for today: just because tall monkeys might wear clothes and live in wooden caves, it still doesn't make any of them smarter than any other monkey."
(PD) Charles Darwin - minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
A fifth young academician commented: "I've seen a picture of that Darwin monkey; he sure was ugly."
The fourth young academician quickly and excitedly replied: "Beauty! Beauty! You gotta' know what beauty is before you can judge a monkey by his appearances!"
As the young academicians chattered amongst themselves, the Sage waded up-stream where he carefully sat next to an elderly monkey named Legend.
(CC0) The Sage of Sages - the Legend - Photo by Sneha Cecil - minor modifications by Larry Neal Gowdy
Legend, being old, he slept a lot in the hot spring... his voice was calm and level as he opined towards the Sage: "The little ones... who dance in the night skies... and what do we tell our young?"
With caution and great respect, the Sage's voice was gentle as he answered: "Nothing. Besides, there is nothing that can be said that is not imagination."
Legend responded: "To watch, six, little ones... each white of glow... some glow of blue... slowly join together, into one... the orb turns red... then glows golden. The colors, describe the tone..."
Sage: "And they only congregate in one specific location... every night... where two monkeys live. Videos of the little ones joining have been taken... hundreds of little ones each night... but no one wants to see the videos..."
Legend: "And there, that describes us all... dogs want bones, monkeys want bananas, humans want to hide in the oceans, but the little ones, they are friends to those who have a similar heart tone..."
Sage: "And if we told our young of the little ones' polarities, then our young would invent beliefs of spirits or blue space aliens... sometimes it is best to not know a thing exists, than to know that it exists and yet not know what it is."
Legend lightly nodded: "Agreed... if we monkeys cannot so much as comprehend our own selves, then there is far less value in attempting to understand what cannot be known."
Sage: "Sometimes I wonder, if, perhaps, we monkeys really are primitive... the only thing dumber than being organic, is dirt. When I reincarnate, I hope I can reincarnate as a little one... they cause no harm, nor do they have to kill living beings to survive."
The Legend silently chuckled: "Now that is the smartest thing you have said all day."